Overcome feelings of hurt- 11 Step-by-step ways

Do you know you must overcome feelings of hurt if you want to live your life peacefully?

It is because when you feel hurt by others you become emotionally upset. You also become mentally stressed.

When people hurt you, you feel wretched and miserable. You wallow in self-pity that no one cares for you.

Here is how you are time and again hurt by others

  • Your family hurts you.
  • Your friends hurt you.
  • Your spouse hurts you.
  • Your parents hurt you.
  • Wounding words hurt you.
  • Backbiting hurts you.
  • Cheating and betrayal hurts you.
  • Insults hurt you.
  • Rebuffs and rejections hurt you.

Can you see how much almost everything in your life hurts your feelings?

You are wrong in feeling hurt at the drop of your hat.

No one can hurt you, if you make yourself immune against it. Your body needs immunity to fight against diseases.

Likewise, your mind needs immunity to take the hurting words of other people in your stride and get along with your life.

Here are the reaons you get hurt very easily in your life

  • You are emotionally unstable.
  • You are a way too sensitive.
  • You take whatever others say about you too personally.
  • You feel hurt when others say words totally different from your point of view.
  • You want everyone to act according to your liking and when they do not, you feel terribly hurt.
  • You are often hurt because you have too many expectations.

Can you see that it is you who allow yourself to be consistently hurt by others?

The way people talk about you, does not in anyway define you. So, feeling hurt by what other people say about you is a futile waste of time.

Not so long ago, I had this habit of getting hurt very easily. An innocuous angry word from my family\friends was enough to make me feel that everyone was out to destroy my happiness. When I was hurt, I always played the victim.

Now, I have matured so much that I never get hurt easily. I have become so immune to hurt that if anyone says wounding words, I never pay much attention to it.

Do you know like happiness, getting hurt is also a mindset?

No one can hurt you unless you allow yourself to be hurt. So, you can easily overcome feelings of hurt if you make yourself mentally strong and stable.

Yes!

How you react to the hurting words of others decides your mental strength.

The hurt you feel in a particular situation should be forgotten immediately by you.

When you hold on to your hurt, you cannot have a moment of peace. When you take your hurt too much to heart, you might easily slip into depression.

So, beware of hurt.

Here are some simple ways to overcome feelings of hurt!

1. Forgo too much expectations

Most of you have many expectations about your spouse\children\friends. You want them to behave in a way you like.

You are too attached to them that when they act independently without consulting you, you feel tremendous inner pain.

You are wrong in looking at your life emotionally. Emotions destroy your rationality and mental stability.

When you have too many expectations, you will invariably face many disappointments in your life. No one will dance to your tune. You must accept people as they are.

You cannot always expect people to behave in a way you like. Remember that your way of looking at things need not be the way others see it. There is nothing to feel hurt about it.

2. Do not take everything personally

If you must overcome feelings of hurt, you should never feel that the anger of others is a personal attack on you.

When your spouse says something hurting, you take it too personally and feel hurt.

Your spouse might be feeling off color on a particular day. And your spouse might be letting off his\her steam to relieve his\her suppressed feelings.

But you take it so personally that you feel your spouse is showing his\her dislike towards you, and feel tremendously hurt.

Your higher officials might reprimand you for a particular work. But you take it as an insult to your overall performance.

When you take things personally, you are giving power to others to rule your life.

When you allow yourself to feel degraded and hurt by the personal opinion of others, you are only belittling yourself.

You know yourself better than others do, don’t you?

So, where is the need to feel hurt by what others think or say about you?

3. Ask yourself many probing questions

You should do certain self-questioning if you want to overcome feelings of hurt.

“Is my hurt worth my pain?”

“Am I allowing my happiness to be decided by others?”

“Is my will power so weak that I feel emotionally shattered by the opinion of others?”

“How do I change myself so that I do not get hurt for even the tiniest of reasons?”

These questions will lighten up your mind about the futility of feeling hurt for something which is so transitory in your life.

4. Do not feel hurt for everything you encounter in life.

Do  not react with hurt for every negative feedback you get about you. If you do so, you will develop a very low opinion about yourself.

Your higher officials sometimes yells at you for your poor performance.

Take it in the right spirit.

There are times your spouse argues with you by uttering harsh words.

Never feel that love has ended in your marriage.

Your children might do things the way they like it. Let them do it their way. It is their prerogative.

5. Your reactions decide the level of your hurt

You feel hurt not by the behavior of the other person, but through your reactions to it.

When the other person deliberately hurts you, you have the choice of overlooking it. But you do not do it. You work yourself up to a frenzy and retaliate with tit–for-tat vengeance, or wallow in self-pity.

Both ways you are hurt.

But, when you choose to overlook the hurt the other person is trying to inflict on you, you are making the person appear puny before your magnanimity.

6. Words\actions of other people do not define you

Mostly you feel hurt by the degrading comments you hear about you. You feel hurt at the deliberate snub and insults the other person inflicts on you.

When someone says that you are no good, it his perception about you. You need not be bothered about it, as you know your worth as nobody else does.

Never ever take literal meaning to the comments others make about you. Know your true value and ignore them.

This is the simplest of simple tricks to overcome feelings of hurt.

7. Practice emotional detachment

When you are too emotionally attached to your family\friends\relatives, you are opening your life to hurt.

Take a step away from them and become emotionally detached.

Emotional detachment does not mean that you are forgoing your love.

It just means that you are accepting them as they are and you are being what you are. Too much emotional attachment is the breeding ground for hurt. Disinfect it with emotional detachment.

8. Be practical and rational

You must be practical to accept the fact that people are different and will act contrary to your expectations. Unknowingly you too do the same to others.

This is how the world is.

Everyone has to live their lives. Everyone feels hurt in some stage of their life. Everyone has to overcome hurt feelings.

No one feels everlasting hurt at any stage of their life.

So, never feel that you are only one targeted to be hurt. Lack of self-confidence and rationality are the main causes you feel perpetually hurt.

9. Just let go

Do not hold on to your hurt. It is not worth it. Your past hurt has no place in your present life.

Insults, hurt, rebuffs and rejections are not a permanent feature in anyone’s life. In fact, hurt has a very short life span. It is you who nurture it back to life by brooding about it.

Let it disappear from your life, as you will garner nothing out of it.

10. Forget and forgive

You must forget the hurt you felt, as it is dead and gone.

Forget the person who inflicted hurt on you. He is not worthy of your sorrow. Forgive the person, as he is not so valuable that he should have the power of destroying your peace.

But, never ever forget the lessons you learned through your hurt. And the person who inflicted hurt on you has no place in your life. Life is as simple as that.

11. Is your hurt really worth your unhappiness?

Understand that people tend to hurt you. You cannot change them. But you can change your attitude of getting hurt.

Is the person so indispensable that he should decide how you should be feeling?

Hurt is nothing, but an unhappiness you feel for something worthless and insignificant in your life.

CONCLUSION ABOUT OVERCOMING THE FEELING OF HURT

“I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.” – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Can you see how much importance you are giving to others, than to you?

People vent their frustrations on you in the hope of relieving their tension and stress.

Never become their punching bag. Draw clear boundaries so that people feel hesitant to make you a victim to their anger and frustrations.

Never allow hurt to deter the happiness quotient in your life.

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About Mathi

Mathi Surendran is passionate in writing about relationships and life. She is also the founder of the relationship blog www.breezystorm.com.
Having faced many challenges in her life, she writes to make others understand that there is always hope.
A new dawn awaits everyone.
“Life Reveals” is a blog which deals with an array of life shattering challenges most of you face. It offers many life transforming solutions to your seemingly impractical problems.

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